Halfway through the Masters

This morning when I got back from my walk, the dogs were under attack by an angry swarm of bees which had made their nest under the eaves of the garden shed. So just when I thought I had a quiet morning after the builders left, I was phoning around for a "bee-man". It's no simple problem. As I write this they are being smoked out and then the roof has to be sealed, including every single corrugation it has, so that the bees don't come back to the nest. 

The academic year ended three weeks ago and apart from builders I have also had to deal with the city council and pest control because apparently it's rat season in Cape Town. And then a small matter of root canal surgery. Seems this was all on hold while I was indulging in the student life. 

I can hardly believe that the first year of the MA programme has come and gone. Half the time I was ecstatic about the opportunity and couldn't believe my luck. I probably irritated a few people by being on an almost-constant high about all that I was learning and didn't need a second invitation to talk about the course. The rest of the time I felt slightly inadequate about my illusions of being writer. There was more than one occasion when I huddled with my fellow-students outside the Arts Block after a seminar where a hallowed-published author had just given us a talk on how difficult it was to be a writer. 

The course work is done and now the real work begins - writing a 65-70 000 word thesis - putting all that I have learned into practice. I have no intention of spending 3-5 years on this masters programme but am a little worried about being able to dish up a book in a year. On the other hand, I am a late bloomer and want to get the MA behind by my back. There are many more projects to get on with.

As I was recently reminded, everyone feels inadequate at one time or another, you have to use it to your advantage, to spur you on. So, I intend to stay focused and see this through as best I can. At the end of the day I believe that you write because you can't help yourself. You create a work of art and if other people love it, that's great. If I worried about whether or not everybody else was going to like it, I'd never do it. In any case, my supervisor says that I should be writing to one reader - him. 

In the words of one of my teachers, "Onwards and upwards!"

This Writing Life

I have been reprimanded for being such a slack blogger.  Now that I have survived the first semester of self-imposed immersion, I have a little more time, although I should be thinking about a thesis for next year, and probably starting on it! The real treasure of this course is the exposure to so many different talents and opinions. One good outcome of doing the MA is that I now have a license to write. So spending all morning at my desk and doing what I love, is now legal.

During the course of this semester we will be having weekly workshops, each with a different author, introducing us to various genres, as well as talks about publishing, branding and agenting. So it’s starting to feel a lot more like the real thing. Over the last two weeks I have been depressed by the prospects for publishing (1% of manuscripts actually get published, only 1 million people buy books in SA) and I am worried about whether it is possible to produce a book by this time next year.

This week we had South Africa’s latest shining star, Lauren Beukes come and talk to us. Leonardo di Caprio has bought the movie rights to her book…enough said. I can barely watch CSI if I am alone in the house and the very idea of Dexter or Hannibal is guaranteed to give me sleepless nights. So The Shining Girls is not at all the kind of book which would appeal to me – time travelling serial killers!? I think not. However, I was impressed with her focus and commitment to her writing.  We all know writers who are better than we are, she said, but they gave up.

I also admire her ability to market herself. She showed us a book trailer for The Shining Girls (yes, a video clip to advertise the book). I immediately recognized it as something which would interest my daughter. I showed her the trailer when I got home and by the following evening she had not only gone out and bought the book but was a good bit of the way into it.  It has been a while since I have seen her reading for pleasure… actually, not since The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

I have been having doubts about writing non-fiction, about what right I have to appropriate other people’s stories, about how accurate my memories are, and other angst-ridden questions. Lauren also had the following advice, which has set me free, in a way. Write what challenges and interests you. Let the book rest and get as much feedback as you can from different people. Don’t think about publishing for at least three months after the thesis is completed.

I realize that I should simply go ahead and write the story I want to write, as best I can, uninhibited by the idea of publishing.  Right now it is my story. I’ll worry about sending it out to the world at a later stage.