A Friend indeed

As I write this my friend is winging her way back home across the Atlantic Ocean. She was here ten years ago but we had seen each other in the US, where she lives, in 2007. This visit has been both sad and joyful for her, with a wedding and a funeral to attend.

She phoned on Saturday and we quickly arranged an impromptu pizza evening for later. She had hardly walked in the door and said hello when we were in the study deciding on the pizza order as if it was last week we had seen each other, and not four years ago.

This last week, we have caught up over countless cups of tea, explored the little shops in Kalk Bay and revisited memories in Kirstenbosch Gardens. Our children connected face to face, not via Face Book and made some memories of their own.

Over the week many memories have come flooding back – memories of carefree university days, spending Christmases together, travelling to the Eastern Cape, being one of the bridesmaids at her wedding, having babies and spending time together in the US and here.

I love how you can have such a deep connection with someone that you effortlessly pick up where you left off. What a blessing to have shared such good times that you can enjoy again. 

Kirstenbosch putting on a display for us

The Gift of Friendship

I value the women in my life. The gift of having someone who listens when you open up, supports and cheers you on when life's disappointments get you down, and who celebrates the joy of being alive with you, is one that should not be taken for granted.

I am fortunate to have a few women in my life who I can call friends.  There is the friend who I know will cajole me into laughing my way out of difficulty. There's the friend who will take charge, like a mother hen and organise when necessary. There are friends I can share the responsibilities of motherhood with, and the friends I can show my wild, outrageous Aquarian side to. There are those who inspire me and those who keep me young.

Different friends suit different times in my life. They come in different sizes, shapes and with different temperaments. Sometimes I find myself thinking about the space I am in and the friend I need, like one would choose a track of music to listen to or a book to read. My friends are like the family I have chosen. We share a bond that is born out of shared joy, sorrow and whatever it takes to deal with the blows that life sometimes throw at us. Long ago I learned that it was necessary to gather around me the people who build me up, support and nurture me, not people who tear me down. 

Whenever I have had the privilege of sitting down in a circle with some of the women I know, it amazes me how each one brings their own flavour to the gathering. It is exactly because we are so different that we can support each other - the mothers, grandmothers, career women, nurturers, cooks, givers and doers - sharing wisdom and experience. We emerge with our batteries recharged, ready to create the the small corners of peace in our home and our community.

The Spirit of Christmas

Last night, with carols playing to an African beat in the background, we sat down to Christmas Eve dinner. Our multi-cultural and multi-national group represented Sweden, Canada, Mauritius, South Africa, Belgium and the US, and a few religions too. It was hard to tell that half the people in the group had never met before. Around a table decorated with pine cones, candles and glitter, children and adults found common ground in spite of being separated by language and culture.

Every year our Canadian friend gathers together a motley group of people for Christmas Eve dinner. She takes care with the tree, the table and food and drink, recreating the traditions of her childhood on the other side of the world. For the last few years we have enjoyed being a part of her new traditions.

This year the gathering had a different spirit to it. It was the first time she was celebrating with her own daughter who is 20 months old and it opened up the gathering to children from 4 to 14. As children do, they brought an innocence and simplicity to the evening. They gave us permission to jump up and down and be enchanted by the lights and the presents, and the fun of being together. We stepped over little ones crawling after the cats, watched as the tweens connected and marvelled at out how small the world is, as we got to know each other.

The spirit of Christmas was there as we passed around a candle to light the ones which had been placed at our setting and paused to silently give thanks for the year that has been and to express hope for the year to come. At the end of the evening we parted with hugs, exchanging gifts and phone numbers, aglow with the connections that had been made with respect, tolerance and love.