Wise Women (and Dr Spock)

I have had quite a woman's week. It started and ended with two of Cathy Eden’s Midlife Matters workshops, exploring the concerns, challenges and strategies of being an aging woman in our society. We all threw up our arms in protest at the idea that we could possibly be “wise women”. Perhaps we have images of old crones bent over bubbling pots and can't quite face that yet. 

On Monday evening I had the almost surreal experience of attending the first in a series of antenatal classes with a friend who has asked me to be her birth partner. There I sat in a circle with 12 sets of prospective parents – all first time and about half my age. One of the exercises that they had to do was to list all their birthing and parenting concerns.

Well, the session was indicative of one of the challenges that we face in this 21^st century – too much information and too little knowledge. People had lists that filled A4 pages - I couldn't believe how worried they were about everything - postnatal depression, choosing between natural birth and a Caesar, breastfeeding, routine, and balancing work and parenting in general. All valid I suppose, but I wanted to shout, “All your baby needs is you!” The internet has become their enemy because they suddenly are faced with the worst-case scenarios of every aspect of what is essentially one of the most natural stages of life.

I had to sit on my hands to keep myself from jumping up and responding to each one. It wasn't appropriate for me since I was there in a different role and didn't want to step onto the toes of the facilitator. But I realized that I could have dealt with each of those concerns through the experience that I have as mother, occupational therapist, yoga teacher and traveler. It was especially hard to keep quiet when one of the future dads said spontaneous weekends and travel were soon to be thing of the past. I wanted to wave my hands in the air and say, “Look at me, we've travelled the world with our children!” I’ll have to tell him that during the tea break next time.

It was an unexpected reminder of how much I've learned; without being aware of it, life has made us wiser and we still have a role to play in a society challenged by the technology revolution, climate change disasters, wars and conflict, and all the anxiety that this brings to giving birth and raising children. As Dr Benjamin Spock said way back in the 1940s, "You know more than you think you do." (The Common Sense Book of Baby and Childcare)

Yesterday I attended a talk with another wise woman Dr Azila Reisinberger, who officiated at the Mezcla of a Wedding I attended little while ago. She is Head of the Hebrew Department at UCT, a champion of women’s rights and gender equality, acting rabbi and member of MENSA. She spoke about women in the bible, which was fascinating and entertaining and appealed to the Christian, Muslim and Jewish woman in the audience. Her real gift is her ability to highlight the traditions and beliefs which are common to different people and cultures and bring them together in a celebration of humanity. Wise Women of the World, Unite!