Keeping the Perspective

In many ways matric exams are the most important academic exams that students will write, determining their future study and job options. But I do agree with my friend, Mary, from Canada, who commented on the overwhelming importance matric exams seem to have in SA. She said that all around the world children write final school exams, they pass or they fail, and life goes on.

Here the whole country seems to be geared towards it – you can’t switch on the radio or open the newspaper without hearing or reading about the impending exams. The daily newspaper features interviews with learners about how they found each examination paper. There are advice columns in the newspaper about how to cope with stress, including suicide help lines. No one should have to want to kill themselves because of an exam.

A few weeks later the results get published in the newspapers and the whole country knows not only whether you passed or not, but how well you did. And then the post-mortems start - the comparisons and the laying of blame.  The next year it starts up all over again.

I found myself getting caught up in the hype. “Has she ever failed an exam?” asked Mary. The answer is no. And it is no for most of them. So why all the angst?

This year the matrics could go to their schools the day before the newspapers published the results, to see how they did before the whole country sees it. Hopefully this will be the start of changes to take some of the pressure off the matriculants. While school exams are hard, life exams can be harder. Let’s keep the perspective.  

Reaping the Benefits

Having been swept up in the flurry of the end of the year, I am a little shell-shocked to find myself landed in the third week of January with my daughter about to start university. It has been a long time of concentrated effort – mock exams first and then a month later, the finals. It seemed that they had no sooner done one set of exams when they started the next. I could almost see all the adrenalin draining out of her body after she wrote her last paper.

I am happy to report that the exams have gone well from all perspectives. Our military-style operation (yoga, shiatsu, diet, boot camp) has paid off and here we are, reaping the rewards of hard work. Not only has she been accepted at the University of Cape Town, she has been offered a scholarship based on her academic performance....very proud family!

She only applied to UCT (“because you and dad went there”). Dad and I needed special permits to attend the university as we were not white. It makes me even prouder that here she is, no baggage, in her own right and on her own merit, entering UCT. I’m looking forward to this new phase in all our lives. 

Future Choices

It may seem like there is only yoga happening at home at the moment but we are writing Matric, and note I say “we”!  This is such a defining time in a young person’s life and there are so many decisions to be made that will affect their futures. Of course, there is also the pressure of the exams. Our mantra is “a healthy body in a healthy mind” and she has already started to balance the work with yoga, gym and shiatsu.

We hit a little wobbly about a week ago when she was filling in university application forms and realised that maybe what she had been thinking about doing next year was not really what she wanted to do. Problem is she hasn’t thought about anything else and is a little overwhelmed by the choices. There is such a wide range, with degrees that never even existed five years ago, and she is the queen of procrastination.

I find that in our desire to help out and offer advice it so easy to impose our own ideas and desires onto our children. Perhaps we see them in a different space to the one they have in their minds. I was reminded a little while ago about how we sometimes overlook their strengths, because we are so busy trying to make everything perfect.

At a dinner, someone was talking about the reaction we have to a school report where for example the child might be doing really well in History and not so well in Maths. Our first response is that they should get extra Maths, try to get the mark up, etc. What about if we said: “Wow, look at your History – you are really good at that!” and then focussed on giving them more opportunity to develop the very subject that they love.

And that is what they need to learn for themselves too. It is all about learning to play to our strengths - which reminded me about a quote by Albert Einstein, I saw recently:

“...if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

To all the matriculants (and their mothers) – good luck, and may you find your bliss!

Exam-phobia

This morning I did an "exam". Actually it was an open-book quiz that I received via email, had an hour to complete and then return. In my head it took on the proportions of an "exam". And that word strikes fear into my heart, in the same way that Pavlov's dogs salivated at the ringing of a bell!

The quiz was the final requirement for the Magazine Journalism course I have been doing The SA Writers' College. I have enjoyed each module with its accompanying assignments, and have produced a 1800 word article about the World Children's Prize, so was feeling a sense of accomplishment. The fact that it was an online course made me feel even better, more with it (do people still say that?), like I had further embraced technology! Nevertheless, I allowed myself the slightest sense of panic at the idea that I would be put to the test and have to prove myself.

No matter that I did this test in the comfort of my peaceful study which looks out on to the garden and played music in the background, my sympathetic nervous system went into overdrive, getting ready for who knows what. In my technophobic defense I have to say that I did not trust the fact that this had to be done online and that I would have to rely on email to submit, but it was definitely that word "exam" that did it. I could feel that old familiar sensation creeping up the back of my neck, the sense of doom and the heaviness hanging over my head.

I think it harks back to school days where we were trained to regurgitate what had been taught in class and, woe betide, if you did not give it back exactly as it was expected. Yes, much to my children's horror, I did have the odd teacher who thought they could put the ruler to better use on parts of our bodies. I remember working myself up into quite a state on the eve of exams and then, many times wanting to kick myself for not doing as well as I could have.

It was only much later, post-university even, that I managed to enjoy the learning process and take assessments more in my stride. I have enjoyed doing courses in everything from neuro-developmental therapy to yoga teacher training and aromatherapy. I have enjoyed the sense of achievement along with the stimulation and really, the assessments at the end have not been the bogey they used to be.

I feel hugely relieved that I have completed the quiz. I know that I have done well in the assignments. As always, it seems almost pathetic that I could waste all that energy. Seems there is still a bit of exam-phobia left that needs to be exorcised!