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I’m not the life
and soul of the party. I don’t know just the right thing to say when at a
cocktail party. I envy those who seem to have a store of one-liners which break
the ice and start the conversation rolling. I am like a fish out of water,
balancing a drink or a canapé in one hand, standing around making small talk.
But I am a good listener, and once I get
to know you around the dinner table or over a cup of coffee, I can ramble on as
well as the next person.
My husband and
daughter emit some kind of radar that draws people to them and they engage with
ease, beaming in the afterglow of the interaction. People remember meeting
them. On the other hand, I am always being told at parent-teacher meetings that
my son has much to contribute, but is far too quiet in class, or he could be
having more fun if he relaxed and opened up.
As a young boy,
my son earned a reputation for himself as being a choosy playmate – teaching me
to consult with him before I made any play date arrangements. “I need to rest
today,” he would say, “I had a friend yesterday.” I learned to respect that –
to give him his space to be by himself. After all, I could identify with that. We
are both introverts and don’t need rescuing to come “out of our shells”. We are
having fun, just doing it quietly.
At the bookshop
last week, I spotted a book on how to make small talk; I picked it up, turned
it over, read the back cover, and riffled through the pages. I was tempted to
buy it. Maybe I do need to know what to say when introduced to the Prince of
this or the President of that – to make a memorable impression. I walked around
the aisles with it in my hand before reluctantly putting it back. I knew deep
down that this was not something I could learn from a book. But, hey! There
must be enough people with the same “problem” for someone to write a book,
right?
Sometimes you have to accept the things you
cannot change. But I am free for
coffee...
