Give this wedding a miss!

Last night I went off to the movies with my daughter and a friend for a much-anticipated “chick-flick”. I was not expecting anything cerebral, just a light-hearted, feel-good movie to relax by – something pink and fluffy, as my daughter calls it. The reviews for Bridesmaids were good enough and I specifically remember reading one which said: “like The Hangover without the vulgarity”. Fine with me. I had seen The Hangover and had no desire to see a sequel of the vulgarity.

The movie was sold out except for some single seats which we decided to take...promising. The popcorn queue snaked around the escalator. We decided we didn’t need any and headed straight for our seats, ready to be entertained. Well, I am sorry to say that I was duped into seeing the female version of The Hangover. The opening scenes of the movies were not promising at all. We were subjected to a couple who looked like they were trying to have sex but were still working out which was the right way to go about it.

There is one particular scene in the movie, where after eating some bad Mexican food the bridesmaids head out to a bridal studio to try on dresses. They all start getting sick and what ensued was what I suppose was meant to be funny – one bathroom and five women falling over each other to get rid of lunch from both ends. Maybe I am  missing a funny bone, but most women don’t carry on like that.

There were some funny moments but not enough to redeem the movie. There is so much reality TV out there these days where everyone tries to behave as shockingly as they can. Perhaps the movie-makers feel pressure to up the shock value.

We came home and watched a recording of Modern Family – for a brain-cleanser, as my daughter said - much like you have sorbet between courses to cleanse the palate. I feel like hunting down the reviewer and shooting him. Actually, what did I expect, relying on a man’s review of a chick-flick? 

"How on earth can we live together - How can we agree to agree?"

My family has previously attended this amazing forum which occurs annually in Sweden. Sigtuna is the oldest city in Sweden, dating back to  980. The Tallberg Forum brings together about 500 leaders from around the world, from business, government and civil society. The aim is to hold "conversations" to try to find answers to the problems that beset our world. Many sessions are open to the public and take place around tables in a big tent. Typically, the setting is one of natural beauty with music, poetry and culture interwoven. Check out the link below and take part in the conversation.

"How on earth can we live together - How can we agree to agree?"

The Tällberg Forum 2011, 30 June to 3 July, starts in the realization that todays established business models and governance frameworks are struggling to release the structural change that financial/ budgetary, social and environmental pressures are likely to require. Out of this analysis, comes the imperative for new coalitions of actors to step forward and drive new initiatives towards more radical change. This is true for business, civil society and politics.

The question for this year's forum therefore becomes: "How on earth can we agree to agree?" Because without a common understanding of the need to move collectively into a new paradigm, established interest resisting change will prove too powerful to overcome. Unfortunately, too much of the debate today is still stuck in the logic and thought models of the past.

Join the live streamed or OnDemand sessions to take part in these important conversations of our time.

A Celebration of Music and Poetry

My son's school has for the past two days been buzzing with culture - music has been ringing out from different venues across the school campus, boys are walking about either on their way to compete, or to support their peers and external examiners are having a tough time awarding points. 

I popped in yesterday to listen to the boys perform in the Junior Woodwind Classical, Light and Jazz section and was very glad to be part of the creative energy that prevailed. They delivered pieces from composers as diverse as Scott Joplin and Franz Danzi. 

The Eisteddfod is in its 25th year at the school. The boys compete in  five sections - Speech, Performance, Visual Arts, Music and a group Singing competition (which is the culmination of the two days). The singing competition involves every boy in the school. What  a wonderful opportunity for young people to explore their creativity and to appreciate the talents of their peers. 

An "eisteddfod" is a celebration of music and poetry. It has its roots in Wales and goes back to the 12th century to a certain Lord Rhys who decided to have  gathering of musicians and poets from all over the country, at his castle. A chair at the Lord's table was awarded to the best poet and musician. Over time it became an annual event, alternating in North and South Wales - it lasts for about a week with people camping in tents on fields, dancing maidens and men dressed in flowing costumes and meetings around a circle of white stones that is the mark that an eisteddfod has taken place. 

Who's your auntie?

It happened while I was standing in a dessert buffet queue at a wedding. The young man in front of me, pointed to one of the desserts in front of us and asked, "Do you think that is ice-cream or mousse, Auntie?" It took a few seconds for me to realise that this grown up MAN was talking to me. Calling me auntie. Did I even know him? When did that happen - strange young men, calling me auntie? I don't deny the passage of time, but really...?

I have been contemplating the grey streaks which have appeared as natural highlights in my hair and have decided that I plan on aging gracefully. Apart from some of the creaky bits that have made themselves felt, I think that I am enjoying getting older. The past few years have been interesting, I have learned much through courses and travel, and had fun along the way.

Now that my children are more independent, I find numerous possibilities surfacing to occupy my time. I am relishing the time to pursue interests that nourish me, like writing and photography. I also enjoy the more "mature' attitude that I now have to studying - I spent so many years getting into a neurotic state over exams that it is a treat to be able to attend courses and make the most of the opportunity without performance anxiety. 

I believe that I am embracing the process although don't for one moment think that I plan on being frumpy! I'll be wearing purple with a red hat that doesn't go, as the poem by Jenny Joseph goes. I think that there is a lot to be said for not being 'mutton dressed as lamb'. I shudder when I see women of a certain age trying to cling onto youth at all costs, literally and figuratively. As for the sexily-clad moms one sometimes sees in the car park, they put so much pressure on young girls to look a certain way. After all, unless you have Demi Moore as a mother, you would like to at least look younger than your mom.

Listen to Jenny Joseph read her poem here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cACbzanitg

Travel 101 - Packing and other advice

In today’s newspaper there is a Dennis the Menace cartoon – the family is packing numerous bags to go on holiday and Dennis is asking: “How can it be called getting away from it all if we are takin’ it all with us?” Which reminded me of my recent trip to Sweden with a big, clunky case. And it was very hard to get that big, clunky case up and down the narrow winding stairs when I stayed at a friend’s house. 

Normally, I pride myself on packing light (or lighter than my husband does). This time, literally as I was about to walk out the door to go to the airport, I discovered that the medium suitcase which I had neatly packed to fit had a broken zip and the pull-handle would not collapse down. So I quickly had to transfer to the bigger suitcase in which my neatly packed clothes were now swimming. Then, mistake of mistakes, decided that since I had space, to throw in a few extras (gloves, scarf, another jersey) – ‘just in case’. To add insult to injury it was not quite as cold as I expected, so I came home with quite a few unworn items. It’s amazing how you can get by with essentials and how stress-free it is to get dressed in the morning when you have limited options.

So here is a reminder of "Travel 101" for me and anyone else who may need it. 

• Travel lightly - the experts say lay out everything you think you need and then reduce it by half!
• Restrict your clothes to one or two colours - that way you can mix and match everything. 
• Accessorise, accessorise.
• Make sure all your bags and possessions are labelled with your name, address and a contact number.
• Be prepared to lose whatever is in your luggage - it gets lost, arrives late or not at all.
• Always pack an overnight bag with a change of clothes - it's no fun having to go around in the same clothes or try to buy underwear in a foreign language if your baggage gets lost.
• Wear comfortable clothes on the plane.
• Pack a good book to read or anything that could keep you entertained if you have long delays or stopovers.
• Drink lots of water or juice to prevent dehydration.
• A shower is the quickest way to feel better after a long flight (not a sleep!).
• Don't let your bags out of your sight and never, never carry a package for someone else. 
• Keep your passport with you at all times - you can lose everything but not that. 
• When you find a decent toilet, use it - you never know when you will find another or what state it will be in when you do.
• Be nice to the locals - you are privileged to be entering their world - say please and thank you nicely, and bonus points if you do it in the local language. Engage, be respectful, learn.
• Choose your companions or train them well. 
• Be on time - Murphy's law is fully operational and it helps having some time to move around in. 
• Don't charge around like a maniac trying to see everything - leave some for next time. 

Travel safely and don't forget to have fun!

Castles and Inns

Most people go to Mariefred to see Gripsholms Castle. This quaint little town is about forty-five minutes drive west of Stockholm. The little wooden houses look as if they have been around for almost as long as the castle which was started in the 14^th century and completed in the 16^th. The Gripsholms Vardhus, where I have stayed, proudly displays the date 1609 above its front door. It is the oldest working inn in Sweden and the rooms are elegantly furnished. It overlooks the castle and water and in days gone by was the guesthouse for visitors to the king.

I have yet to take a guided tour around the castle – I am always there out of season – but have seen good bits of it. It is mediaeval looking; thick stone walls covered in original oil paintings and old iron railings going up well-worn stairs. In places you have to duck so that you don’t hit your head on the low roof. The Swedish pop group, ABBA, who sang the background lyrics to my high school years performed here. Apparently in 1974 the castle was used as the cover shot for their Waterloo album.

Mariefred train station

Although I came by car, there are other, more leisurely ways to get here from Stockholm. There is the steamboat S/S Mariefred which plies the waters leaving from near the king’s palace in Stockholm to the castle here. I heard that it is a three-hour journey on a hard wooden bench, though. There is also a train that comes from Stockholm to the next town and then you can take the cutest little train into Mariefred station. It really does look more like the blue train that goes round and round in Mouille Point.

Town Square

There is a town square, also called the mayor’s square, although there is no longer a mayor. Just like there is no longer any policeman, although the station is still there.

This was my third visit - the first two were very brief; all three have been for the World's Children's Prize for the Rights of the Child ceremonies. Since I was spending a bit more time, I was able to wander round the village, dipping in and out of shops displaying typical Swedish ware – simple, natural and classic. 

I took advantage of the beautiful weather to sit outside in the sunshine (like a good Swede, making the most of the sun while it is there). A wooden deck was under construction in preparation for the summer. Like everywhere in Stockholm, things were being fixed and renovated, in preparation for the warmer weather.  

I have been there in the autumn and spring so the weather has been cold and crisp with beautiful, sunny blue skies and flowers in bloom all over (this is where I have taken some of my best daffodil pictures). I can walk for ages all around the lake, through the park that surrounds the castle or just sit at the water’s edge. It's the kind of place you could take off to, to write that book you have been promising to write...

Stockholm - Venice of the North

“It is not a city at all. It is ridiculous to think of itself as a city. It is simply a rather large village, set in the middle of some forest and some lakes. You wonder what it thinks it is doing there, looking so important.” 

          

I love this quote by Ingmar Bergmar talking about Stockholm.  It really does have the feel of a village, a really old village. The old buildings sit side by side with tall skyscrapers. It is not unusual to see people fishing over a bridge into the clear, fresh water in the middle of the city. I remember last time looking for the city hall,  sure that I would readily find it – except all the buildings look like city halls (or churches and palaces).

This was my third visit to Stockholm.  The first time we stayed in Gamla Stan or the “old city” and dined in the same restaurant, Den Gyldene Freden (The Golden Peace) – est. 1722, where the Nobel Prize for Literature was being decided upstairs. The committee members looked as if they had been around for as long as the restaurant!

Stockholm is one of the most beautiful cities that I have been to. It is set on 14 islands (hence the name, Venice of the North) and the water adds a certain charm. Cobble-stoned roads invite you to explore history minutes away from broad, busy modern roads. Parks with trees and benches are dotted all over the city.

This time a friend and I walked through the very Bohemian area of Sodermalm. Shops open late here  - 1030 or 1100 - which was a good excuse to duck into a coffee shop, Frantzen’s. On the counter was a yummy display of home-baked goodies. The cinnamon buns exuded a spicy aroma that was hard to resist and certainly lived up to the promise. In fact it must have been the best cinnamon bun I have ever eaten – slightly crisp around the edges, soft and filled with spices in the whorls.

Fortified we set off – in and out of art galleries, home-ware and clothing shops. The wares on sale were typically Swedish – linen and wood, glass and terracotta – natural and simple. Clothing was finished off with edges of lace and embroidery. We dodged dads out with their toddlers in prams. The Swedish have generous maternity leave of up to 18 months and paternity leave, too. So the mums take the first stretch and do the breastfeeding, etc and then go back to work and the dads take over for a while.

My favourite shop was grandly called the Tea Centre of Stockholm. Entering was like stepping into another world. Dark wood counters were stacked almost to ceiling height with row upon row of tea canisters, many accompanied by glass jars with samples to smell before you made your choice. Electric light glimmered on the polished surfaces and the exotic smells of tea from Morocco, Sri Lanka, India and other far off places, filled the air.

And then the owner made an appearance looking exactly like I would have imagined. Sleeked back hair, round, wire-rimmed spectacles and attired in a dark pants and waistcoat over a white shirt and tie, his skin almost as dark as the woodwork. He was from Sri Lanka and was an expert on teas; although I had to resist getting into a fight about the benefits of Rooibos (he was of the firm opinion that it had none!). We settled for a special blend named after the area in a quaint tin with images of the palace and city hall. The sale was rung up on an old-fashioned cash register. We stepped out into the sunshine with our purchase. Right opposite was a church with tiny graveyard dwarfed by tall bare trees. But in the middle was a little tree bravely heralding spring, all decked out with white blossoms.

Each time I have been to Sweden it has been either spring or autumn. The temperature is around 10-15 degrees, the air crisp and fresh. I love that the sun shines brightly and the sky is as blue as an African sky. Autumn feels like the locals are running around trying to make the best of the good weather and spring feels like the city has woken up from a long sleep and re-discovering itself.

We ended our morning with lunch at Le Gondolen restaurant which boasts grand views of the city. On the way home I could not help leaning out of the car window and taking yet another picture of the trees in bloom.