Future Choices

It may seem like there is only yoga happening at home at the moment but we are writing Matric, and note I say “we”!  This is such a defining time in a young person’s life and there are so many decisions to be made that will affect their futures. Of course, there is also the pressure of the exams. Our mantra is “a healthy body in a healthy mind” and she has already started to balance the work with yoga, gym and shiatsu.

We hit a little wobbly about a week ago when she was filling in university application forms and realised that maybe what she had been thinking about doing next year was not really what she wanted to do. Problem is she hasn’t thought about anything else and is a little overwhelmed by the choices. There is such a wide range, with degrees that never even existed five years ago, and she is the queen of procrastination.

I find that in our desire to help out and offer advice it so easy to impose our own ideas and desires onto our children. Perhaps we see them in a different space to the one they have in their minds. I was reminded a little while ago about how we sometimes overlook their strengths, because we are so busy trying to make everything perfect.

At a dinner, someone was talking about the reaction we have to a school report where for example the child might be doing really well in History and not so well in Maths. Our first response is that they should get extra Maths, try to get the mark up, etc. What about if we said: “Wow, look at your History – you are really good at that!” and then focussed on giving them more opportunity to develop the very subject that they love.

And that is what they need to learn for themselves too. It is all about learning to play to our strengths - which reminded me about a quote by Albert Einstein, I saw recently:

“...if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

To all the matriculants (and their mothers) – good luck, and may you find your bliss!

Day 15 - halfway there!

Day 15 and halfway there! I can feel my body getting stronger and twice I checked my watch at the end of a class, not believing that the time had gone so quickly. I have 30 sponsors and so now I just have to keep going in honour of all the support.

It has been quite a journey so far. And as I look back over the last two weeks, I recognise the different stages of the journey. There was the enthusiastic beginning. Then moving through resistance and struggle when my body seemed to be in rebellion and for good measure threw a bad cold at me to cope with.

And now here I am in this sweet place, wondering whether I could actually get addicted to all this. I have a sore wrist right now which is serving to remind me to listen to my body and to be true to myself. Yoga is such a personal process, not about impressing anyone – it’s between me and my body. 

Day Nine - Look how far I've come!

Yesterday I was feeling like wounded-man-walking. The night before, I swear that my joints were communicating with each other in some kind of painful Morse code – throb-throb, throb-throb-throb.  Over the weekend we were invited to “the dance between yes and no” – ‘no’ postures close up the body and ‘yes’ postures open up the body to feel joy. It’s all about attitude – posturing yourself the right way; a bit like “fake it till you make it”. The next day I was on the mat opening up my heart to love. All the talk about love and joy distracted me from the hard work – so I was a little surprised that I was so achy. I was glad of the more gentle Hatha class I did yesterday morning.

The great thing about this challenge is the exposure to different teachers. Although I think I am pretty much at the stage where I know who and what I like, it is nice to have a change and get an injection of a fresh point of view.

Last night I was feeling like I was about to succumb to the flu or something so I got into a hot mustard bath and dosed myself with Vitamin C. I still a felt a little delicate this morning but I took myself off to class this morning (showing up on the mat) and I am glad I did. It’s a matter of keeping your eye on the ball, having the end in sight and riding out the rough patches.

This morning I looked back between my legs when I pushed into child’s pose. The sun had made a pattern on my mat as it shone through the shutters. It looked like I was standing on a ladder. It occurred to me that I could either choose to see this journey as: “Yikes! What a long way still to go up!” or as: “Wow! Look how far I have come!” 

Yoga Lent Day 5

This morning I felt like I was moving through mud! My body seemed to not want to take direction from my brain. As I pushed back into downward dog, I wondered what it would be like if my arms and legs simply collapsed and I landed, “splat!” onto the mat. No chance of that though with my new, earth-friendly rubber mat, which made sure that I was going nowhere!

As the class progressed, I could feel myself yielding, and allowing my body to flow through the postures it knows so well.  I think that is part of the journey, pushing through the resistance and onto the other side.

This afternoon I curled up into a little spot of sunshine on the couch of my bedroom and drifted off into a delicious little snooze. As I woke, I twitched my limbs and felt out the muscles which seem to be asserting themselves. All I can think of is that it is going to get better. I just have to show up on the mat.  

Yoga Lent Update

So, it’s day Four of Yoga Lent and 30 days is seeming like a looong time! Today it felt like more of an effort to get to class. Some creaks and cracks have shown themselves this week, in spite of me upping the yoga to four times a week during the last two weeks in preparation for the challenge.

Yesterday I was so tired it felt like I was dragging my body around. All I could think about was how long it was till I could go to bed. I had this slight headache just above my eyes, like my eyebrows had suddenly become heavy ... hmm, maybe I have been fooling myself about how much coffee I drink.

On the plus side though, I feel slightly leaner since I am not eating wheat and I swear my body is already starting to feel toned (even though I can’t see anything – maybe it’s just waking up). I have been detox-ing my environment as well and rearranged and cleaned a few cupboards and shelves. I have been writing quite a bit, and feel like my focus is turning inwards. I am excited at the idea of a stronger body in a more peaceful space. I connected with a varsity friend, who I have not seen for many years. She has been having a tough time – it made me feel thankful for my life. 

Building Cathedrals

This morning I had to remind myself that I was “building cathedrals”. My son has been involved with the school music concert which was held in the City Hall over the last two nights. Including the rehearsal the night before, he has had three long days and late nights. This morning it was a tough job getting him up and off to school – grumpiness all around. Talking to him, I felt like I was on one of those overseas calls where there is a time delay on the response. He seemed to be moving in slow motion.

“Nice mom” was being understanding and trying to make it easy on him by helping to get ready, grabbing the hockey kit, and all but attempting to carry him to the car (yeah, right!). But “bad mom” was thinking that half the school was probably feeling the same and he should just get up and go already! There it is again, trying to find the balance between nurturing and kicking out of the nest, so that they can fly.

But to come back to the cathedrals: a while ago there was an email doing the rounds which compared being a mother to the cathedral-builders of long ago. These people toiled for many years, sometimes working on cathedrals which would only be completed long after they had died. But the attention to detail and the craftsmanship was of a very high standard. Nobody may remember the names of those who did the work, but they laid the foundations for great buildings in the same way that mothers quietly lay the foundations for great lives.

So with Women’s Day coming up, here’s a salute to all the mothers out there. When the going gets tough, think of all the “cathedrals” you are building.  

Let the Yoga Challenge Begin

I have psyched myself up, gotten some support (not too late to still sponsor me) and have drunk my last cup of coffee. A few years ago I did a 30-day detox program and it was recommended that you see the programme as a gift to yourself. I started it a month before my birthday so that I could finish on the big day. I felt fantastic - it did feel like I had given myself a huge gift.

Anyway I have decided to see this yoga challenge as my time out, a detox, a present to myself and to six children who need a home.

So if you want to do likewise, a word or two about the detox: The benefit of doing a detox for longer than thirty days is that you are more likely to carry on with it (it takes about 3 weeks to learn a new habit). We pack so much junk into our bodies that it is always good to have a little time out even if we don’t carry on with it afterwards.

So here are some tips I have picked up along the way:

·         Drink lots of water – our water is amongst the best in the world, so open the tap and fill up.

·         Eliminate tea and coffee – replace with herbal teas, fresh juices, hot water with lemon (I add ginger, lavender, mint, a cinnamon stick – whatever is around – to make a fusion in a jug and sip from it all day).

·         Eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables – soup and fruit salads are great. Now may be a good time to sign up for that organic veggie box (hint, hint)

·         Cut out meat, especially red meat. If you must, eat skinless chicken. Fish is fine.

·         Cut out wheat and wheat products.

·         Replace dairy with alternative products (goat’s milk, soya, etc)

·         To supplement the detox, Epsom salts baths are great every few days. A real treat would be a massage to get the circulation going, and to flush out all those toxins.

And then yoga, yoga, yoga - all the breathing, exercise and relaxation is perfect for detox-ing. Then visualise all those toxins leaving the body. I dare you to feel wonderful!

Now I feel like I should put a health warning on this blog. “Consult your doctor before starting this program!”

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY AND PRACTISE AHIMSA